Creating a wedding registry can feel awkward — you're essentially making a list of things you want people to buy you. But here's the thing: guests want to give you something meaningful. A thoughtful registry actually makes their lives easier and ensures you receive gifts you'll genuinely use and love.
Quick Registry Etiquette Rules
- Register 6-8 months before the wedding
- Include items at various price points ($25 to $250+)
- Never include registry info on the invitation itself
- Send thank-you notes within 2-3 weeks of receiving gifts
When to Create Your Registry
The ideal time to set up your registry is 6-8 months before your wedding. This gives you enough time to thoughtfully curate your list before engagement parties and bridal showers, where guests often start purchasing gifts.
If you're having an engagement party, try to have at least a basic registry ready. You don't need everything finalized — you can (and should) add items as you think of them. Just make sure there are enough options across different price ranges.
How Many Items Should You Register For?
A good rule of thumb is to register for 2-3 items per invited guest. If you're inviting 100 guests, aim for 200-300 items. This sounds like a lot, but remember:
- Some guests will buy multiple smaller items
- Guests from different events (shower vs. wedding) may both give gifts
- You want options remaining even close to the wedding date
Suggested Price Distribution
How to Share Your Registry (Without Being Tacky)
The golden rule: never include registry information on your wedding invitation. The invitation is about celebrating your union, not soliciting gifts.
Instead, here are appropriate ways to share your registry:
Your Wedding Website
This is the most common and accepted place. Add a dedicated "Registry" page with links to each store.
Shower Invitations
It's acceptable (even expected) to include registry info on bridal shower invitations since the event is specifically about gifts.
Word of Mouth
Let your parents, wedding party, and close friends know. They can share when guests ask (and guests will ask).
What About Cash Funds?
Cash or honeymoon funds are increasingly common, but some guests (especially older relatives) may feel uncomfortable giving cash. Consider offering both traditional items and a fund option. Frame it positively: "Your presence is gift enough, but for those who have asked, we've registered at..." rather than directly asking for money.
The Thank-You Note Timeline
Thank-you notes are non-negotiable. Here's the timeline:
- Pre-wedding gifts: Send within 2 weeks of receiving
- Wedding day gifts: Send within 3 months after the wedding
Each note should be handwritten and specific. Mention the actual gift and how you plan to use it. Generic "thank you for the gift" messages feel impersonal.
Handling Duplicate or Unwanted Gifts
Despite your best registry efforts, you may receive duplicates or off-registry items that don't suit your taste. Here's how to handle it gracefully:
- Always send a thank-you note — enthusiasm for the gift itself is optional, gratitude for the thought is not
- Return discreetly — most stores allow returns, and what the giver doesn't know won't hurt them
- Re-gift thoughtfully — if you can't return it, someone else might love it (just keep track so you don't re-gift to the original giver)
Final Thoughts
The most important thing to remember is that a registry is a kindness to your guests, not a demand. People want to celebrate your marriage with something meaningful. By creating a thoughtful, well-organized registry, you're helping them do exactly that.
And remember — some guests will go off-registry no matter what. Accept it graciously, send a heartfelt thank-you, and move on. In five years, you won't remember the duplicate toaster. You'll remember the love and support that surrounded your wedding.